Hopeless Prisoner of Loneliness

This had to do with some YouTube Videos I wanted to make which I'll never have the chance to do now. =-( I figured I'd go ahead and post this anyway, since it was in my poetry book.
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I'm a very private and terminally shy person.
I take my privacy very seriously.
I don't want to be bothered or watched really.
I've been very sick for a long time now.
And thankfully it's gone in waves as I call it, where I'm sick for a while then well for a while.As if late my periods of being well have been what I call sickly. 
I'm no longer truly restored, much less feeling good during the periods of being “healthy” so to speak.
And it's once again looking like I'm going down hill and I hopefully am not, I might be getting the call that my table is ready, so to speak. But I realized something, I realized that if I don't do this, make these videos, before I pass away then I'll die unsatisfied.
I finally had to face this, that I HAVE to do this.
So I'm making videos about all the stuff that I need to say, that's important to me. I just hope no one watches these. It'll save me from a ruined life and a whole lotta heartache.